Blog
Barney Connaughton on divorce and mediation: custody, support, property, and how the process works.
-
Forgiveness, Life and Divorce
It has been said that “While it takes at least two to reconcile, it only takes one to forgive.” Bill Johnson. As with all the other emotions we experience as we live our lives, we each have the ability at any time to forgive others and to forgive ourselves. Until we are able to forgive […]
-
Getting to the Settlement Table and Divorce
I recently read an article that indicated over 90% of divorces in California settle prior to going to trial. Most Courts in California have a requirement that prior to proceeding with a trial that the parties participate in a Mandatory Settlement Conference to attempt to settle the matter prior to taking up the Court’s time […]
-
Things That Matter and Divorce.
What matters changes over the course of a life. Why divorce is a good moment to reassess it, and to protect what still counts.
-
Marriage with Eyes Wide Open and Divorce
This past week I met with two separate clients who were each planning to get married. One of them was hiring me to assist them with a premarital agreement. The other wanted information about what a premarital agreement was, but was really much more interested in understanding what marriage meant legally. Back when I was […]
-
Winning, Losing and Divorce
There is an African proverb that says “When elephants fight it is the grass that suffers.” Much can be drawn from this wisdom. There is a lot of collateral damage that arises from conflict and there is often harm done to the innocent bystanders looking on. In the divorce setting those innocent victims are often […]
-
Happiness, Unhappiness and Divorce
I will readily admit that Divorce is not a happy topic. Most of the couples I am working with are going through a life event that is understandably making them very unhappy. There are studies that show that unhappiness is not good for your health and can lead to poor health and a shorter […]
-
Taking the weight off our shoulders and Divorce
Back in 2020 I shifted my divorce practice to full time mediation and two years ago I made the final Court appearance in my last remaining contested case. As a mediator I do not represent either side so, while I am regularly filing paperwork with the Court to commence and resolve cases, the paperwork is […]
-
Upcoming Changes to Child Support and Child Support Add Ons
It wasn’t too long ago when I wrote about how little guideline child support has changed over the past 30 years. Change is now afoot. The California legislature has adopted SB-343 which modifies the formula for calculating child support and makes some notable changes to the handling of child support add-ons which include guidance on […]
-
Gratitude and Simple Things That Matter
I have this little practice that I implemented a few years ago where I wake up each morning around 5 o’clock, enjoy my cup of coffee in the quiet house, spend a little time with my thoughts and do a little writing. It gives me a little time to just be and invariably has me […]
-
The things we control, the things we don’t, and Divorce.
I spent last night in the Portland airport. I was just finishing up a nice little vacation and it was a late flight to maximize the last day of the trip. After a couple of nominal delay notifications from the airline, we boarded the plane 45 minutes or so late and it felt like we […]
-
Positivity, Appreciation and Divorce.
When the walls are closing in and the world is crashing down, one of the hardest things for us to do is to find anything positive in all of it. It is human nature to have our failings bring us down and put us in a negative place. I have certainly had difficulties in my […]
-
Maintaining Control and Divorce
There are many different emotions that we experience heading into a divorce. A couple of big ones are the sense of losing control and the fear of the unknown and unexpected. We are afraid of being unfairly treated and taken advantage of. We have never done this before and have maybe heard horror stories that […]