Do it yourself
- Works when
- You already agree on everything
- Who guides you
- No one
- Who decides
- The two of you, unguided
- Time
- Filing errors add time
- Cost
- No professional fees
Divorce Mediation: Simple, Fair, Cost-Effective
I'll guide you both to a signed agreement, handle every form, and file it right, so neither of you has to set foot in a courthouse.
- 1,700+
- couples mediated
- 33 years
- in family law
- 98 Google reviews
- Costs 7x less
- than litigation
What happens if you let the court decide
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A stranger decides.
A judge who has never met you determines how your property and finances are divided and, if you have children, how they spend their time.
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It can take over two years.
Getting to trial alone often takes about two years, and in many cases trial is not the end of it.
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It gets more expensive as it goes.
Each lawyer is paid to cast their client in the best light and the other spouse in the worst. Every filing adds cost, and usually adds conflict.
What happens when you mediate instead
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Stay out of court.
You and your spouse make the decisions about your children and your property. The judge's role becomes accepting your agreement, not dictating it.
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Done in months, not years.
Most couples reach agreement and file their paperwork with the court within one to two months of getting started.
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A fraction of the cost.
One transparent fee for the couple instead of two attorneys billing by the hour, and you know what to expect before you start.
Who's guiding you
Choosing to divorce is hard and painful. The process of getting divorced doesn't need to be.
I've been practicing family law in California since 1993. My practice used to include litigated divorces. Today it is divorce mediation, because I've discovered it's the best way I can help families.
Since 2006 I have helped more than 1,700 couples resolve their disputes through mediation.
How this works
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Step 1: Start with a free 30-minute call.
I'll explain how the divorce and mediation process works, answer your questions, and then you can decide whether I'm the right fit. No cost, no obligation.
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Step 2: You gather and exchange your documents.
Paystubs, tax returns, account and loan statements. California requires full disclosure before any divorce is granted, and we have proprietary software that holds your hand through the disclosure process.
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Step 3: Your first session.
Both of you, in person at my office or online via Zoom. I explain how the law applies to your situation, and we start on your property division, support, and, if you have children, the parenting plan. Usually about two hours.
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Step 4: We finish the terms, and I file everything.
Usually one to three more sessions. I draft the agreement and the judgment paperwork, you sign and notarize, and I file it all with the court, typically within one to two months of starting.
If the two of you have already settled your terms, it can be a single meeting and paperwork.
- The initial consultation is free and there is no obligation.
- You will know what to expect before you start. No retainer, and no bill you didn't see coming.
- If mediation is not right for your situation, I will tell you and refer you to someone who can help.
When it's done
You'll have a final decree built on terms the two of you reached, not terms imposed on you by a judge. No negative pleadings get filed with the Court. And the money stays with you and your family instead of going to two law firms.
What divorce mediation actually involves
As a mediator, I am a neutral person with a law degree, hired by both spouses to guide them through the entire divorce. I explain how the law applies so each of you understands your rights. I help you work through dividing what you own, support, and, if you have children, child sharing. We have the option to get creative or to go by what the court might do, whichever fits your circumstances.
California requires full financial disclosure before any divorce is granted, whether you litigate, mediate, or do it yourselves. I facilitate the exchange of financial information so each of you can feel confident you have what you need to make informed decisions.
Then I draft an agreement that captures the terms you've reached and meets the court's requirements, prepare every form, and file everything. Most couples reach an agreement and submit it to the court within one to two months of getting started, without either of you ever setting foot in a courthouse.
You are not giving up your rights by mediating. The same California law applies, nothing is binding until you both sign, and either of you can bring in a consulting attorney at any point. You are simply choosing to make the decisions yourselves rather than handing them over to a judge.
How your three options compare
Two attorneys
- Works when
- You've stopped agreeing
- Who guides you
- Your own lawyer
- Who decides
- The judge
- Time
- Often 2 years to trial
- Cost
- $25,000 to $30,600 for the couple
Mediation with me
- Works when
- You disagree but want to settle
- Who guides you
- One neutral party, for both of you
- Who decides
- The two of you, guided
- Time
- Filed correctly the first time, in 1 to 2 months
- Cost
- About $3,900 for the average couple
Court filing fees apply whichever path you take. Litigation figures from Martindale-Nolo's 2019 California survey, doubled to a couple basis.
What it costs
My pricing is simple and transparent. You pay one fee as a couple, rather than each of you paying separately. For most couples the total comes to about $3,900, which covers my mediation time at $375 an hour, usually around four hours, plus the drafting of your agreement and the court paperwork.
The packages are illustrations, meant to give you a feel for what your situation might cost. Most couples fall within this range, depending on the complexity of their case. In your free consultation I'll tell you what yours is likely to need, and it may well be less. Either way, you'll know what to expect before we start, and there is no surprise bill at the end.
Court filing fees are separate, either $435 or $870 depending on how you proceed.
See what's included in each package- Uncontested Drafting $2,700
- Standard Most couples Traditional $3,900
- Advanced Complex $5,400
What couples say about working with me
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Barney at A Healthy Divorce made a difficult process feel smooth and fair. He's a thoughtful, balanced mediator who genuinely cares about both parties and keeps everything respectful and on track. Highly recommend.
Kevin V. -
Barney was terrific at helping us navigate an emotional and impossibly challenging situation. I'm grateful for his calm demeanor and kindness. I highly recommend him.
Aaron F. -
Barney was always quick to respond and very helpful. He was very patient during the process, and made the whole thing feel smooth and easy.
Ingrid C. -
Barney and his staff are compassionate, professional and very knowledgable. Highly recommended for anyone that wants to make the process of divorce better for all parties involved.
Debbie W. & Chris B.
Most common questions when considering divorce mediation
How long does the whole process take?
Most couples reach agreement and file with the court within one to two months of getting started. California imposes a six-month waiting period that begins when the petition is served, and no court can shorten it. So most mediated divorces are final in roughly six to eight months. Litigated divorces typically take somewhere between one and two years.
Do we each need our own attorney?
You're not required to have one. I'm neutral, which means I don't represent either of you: I educate you both on the law, but I don't give legal advice. If you'd like an advocate, you're both free to have a consulting attorney assist with legal advice as we go, or review the agreement once it's drafted, and some people do. Many of my clients complete mediation without hiring attorneys.
How is property handled?
Houses, businesses, retirement accounts, and everything else you own gets valued and divided in mediation. A house usually needs a valuation, and a business needs someone to review the books and determine what it's worth; those professionals are hired at your option and your cost, and I'll tell you what is needed. Mediation also gives us room the court process doesn't have: we can follow what a court would do, or get creative with solutions that fit your situation.
Do we have to meet in person?
No. Sessions happen in person at my office or online via Zoom, which works anywhere in California.
What if my spouse isn't on board yet?
That's how many people start, with one of you looking into mediation before the other. You're welcome to book the free consultation on your own, although I'd prefer to meet you both if possible. If needed, we can start with one of you, and you can share the information with your spouse. Mediation ultimately requires both of you, but you don't need to be on the same page before we talk. If it helps, send them this page first, and I'm happy to offer your spouse a separate free consultation as well.
What if mediation isn't an option for us?
I'll tell you. If your situation calls for something mediation can't provide, I'll refer you to a divorce professional who can help you, such as an attorney who can advocate for you.
What if we don't need a divorce?
That happens, and it's a good outcome. I keep a network of therapists, financial specialists, and coaches, and I refer people to them when that's what's needed, including when what would help most is working on the marriage rather than ending it.
Not sure if mediation is right for you?
6 Steps to Preparing for A Healthy Divorce
I wrote a short guide to help you work out whether divorce is the right step, weigh your options, and prepare for the best outcome.
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Next step
The first thirty minutes are free.
Bring your questions. I'll explain how the process works and give you an honest read on whether mediation fits your situation. There is no obligation.
across 98 Google reviews
More than 1,700 couples mediated.